Don’t get me wrong. In years of teaching dance, writing, public speaking, and sociology, I’ve had some fabulous students and some deeply appreciative ones. In May, I got a note from one of my writing students that didn’t just make my day. It made my year. 

But as any longtime educator can tell you, there are always a handful of students whose comments are so absurd they leave you absolutely speechless. Here are a few of my personal favorites:

-From an adult ballet student: “You’re doing wonders for the right side of my body, but your classes are ruining my left side.” (Note to folks who’ve never studied ballet: We do everything on both sides.)

– From a college student at the University of Oklahoma taking my 8 AM dance class: “No offense, but your class is making me sweat way too much. Could you ease back a little? You’re ruining my makeup job.”

– From a public speaking first-year college student in a round table discussion of our various styles of thinking: “I try not to think too much.”

– From a sociology 101 student: “Who needs critical thinking skills? You can just look stuff up on Google.”

– From an adult student after I suggested she seek to understand a variety of perspectives about the issue of abortion: “My husband warned me to watch out for liberals like you if I went back to college.”

I love collecting these comments. So, if you’ve ever taught and had a student say something outrageous to you, please pass it on to me!